On a recent sultry Saturday night, with the temperatures hovering in the 90s, the snow on the roof of the North Woods Inn wasn’t melting. Not in the least. Not a drop or a drip. But then, of course the snow never melts. And doesn’t seem to get dirty either. It’s an illusion worthy of Disney.
For decades now, since 1958 to be precise, this chain has attracted legions of loyal meat eaters, hungry for a taste of the fine (and well-priced) steaks that are the Clearman’s hallmark. The motto, after all, is “Huge Portions & Great Memories Await.” And for the many seated on the patio that surrounds the restaurant, those desires are well satisfied — in the open air.
As you may know, the look of Clearman’s is pure Sergeant Preston meets Robert Service in the Yukon. Even outside, it’s a great rambling place, perhaps without the signature sawdust and peanut shells on the floor, beamed walls and ceilings, and snappy piano playing (as Robert Service wrote in “The Shooting of Dan McGrew”: “A bunch of the boys were whooping it up in the Malamute Saloon/The kid that handles the music box was hitting a jag-time tune…”).
But still…service is crisp — the food comes flying out of the kitchen. And it comes flying out in quantity; this is a restaurant where small portions are unknown. This is a place you go, when you want to do some serious feeding.
The bar sells big schooners of draft beer, a fine way to ease into a feed that begins with baskets of cheese bread, thickly slathered with the signature Clearman’s cheese butter spread (several recipes for which can be found online; they all seem to boil down to butter mixed with several cheeses, tricked up with a number of other ingredients, none of which are especially notable beyond the unctuous intensity of the butter and the cheese).
Dinners include just about everything — they come with not one, but two salads (including a red cabbage salad that’s impossible to stop eating), along with two starches (both rice pilaf and a baked potato the size of a well-fed gopher, packed with more of the — what else? — cheese butter), your protein of choice, and a topping of either (more) butter or mushroom gravy.
There are things on the menu that are not steaks. Chicken comes both broiled and fried. There’s seafood: cod, scallops, halibut, shrimp, king crab legs and Australian rock lobster tail. There are several hamburgers and a hot dog. There’s a ham sandwich and a corned beef sandwich. There’s a French dip, a Cobb salad and a soup of the day. They may be good. I wouldn’t know — I go to Clearman’s for the steak.
Most folks seem to go for the Lumberjack Steak, which appears to be a sirloin, cut both large and medium, quite flavorful and no more chewy than it usually is. If you want to sacrifice some flavor for tenderness, go with the filet mignon. If you want to split the difference, there’s the New York and the porterhouse, which weighs in at an outlandish 25 ounces.
Contrary to the cowboy tradition of incinerating the meat, the menu makes this point: ”We do not recommend cooking steaks past medium as they tend to lose their flavor.”
Not surprisingly, this is a hotbed of surf and turf — the medium-sized Lumberjack Steak comes with a choice of jumbo shrimp, king crab legs and lobster tail.
Clearman’s is an homage to the joys of supersizing, that long pre-dates Mickey D’s. The postcard that’s been given away at the cash register for as long as I can remember speaks of “the huge logging wheels holding our sign…mounted on a slab cut from a thousand year old mammoth redwood…Inside, you will find steaks, seafood and sandwiches, also of giant size and quality…”
Diets are fine in their place. But this is not a place in which to diet. And anyway, we’ve been eating frozen entrees out of the back of the fridge for long enough. It’s time for meat and more.
Merrill Shindler is a Los Angeles-based freelance dining critic. Email mreats@aol.com.
Clearman’s North Woods Inn
- Rating: 3 stars
- Address: 540 N. Azusa Ave., Covina, 626-331-5477; 7247 Rosemead Blvd., San Gabriel, 626-286-3579; www.clearmansrestaurants.com
- Cuisine: Steakhouse
- When: Lunch and dinner, every day
- Details: Full bar; reservations important
- Atmosphere: Looking like a monster cabin in the north of Canada, this SG Valley institution is surrounded with outdoor seating, allowing for legions of longtime fans to show up for meat, and more meat, at this tribute to carnivorous consumption.
- Prices: About $40 per person
- Suggested dishes: 10 “Lumberjack Size” Sandwiches ($9.95-$15.95), 18 Dinners ($26.95-$52.95), 10 Special Combination Dinners ($43.95-$65.95)
- Cards: MC, V
October 24, 2020 at 03:14AM
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Steaks and more in a rustic setting at Clearman’s in Covina, San Gabriel - The San Gabriel Valley Tribune
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